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The
Daily Mews
SO EASY TO LOVE, SO
HARD TO LOSE ‘A Bridge to Healing Before and After the Loss of a Pet’
by Laurie Kaplan MSC is one of those books you wished you’d read years
ago. So that the heart ache on losing your first pet could somehow be
less traumatic and emotionally draining because, having put into place
and practice Laurie’s helpful tips, you are then equipped to deal with
that loss.
But of course, nothing
really can prepare you for that ultimate loss and you have to go
through the grieving journey as best you can and arrive at your
destination, hopefully still in one piece, your heart scarred for life,
but ready to face the world again albeit without your beloved pet.
Laurie’s book,
however, is very readable. As Marty Tousley writes on the front cover:
‘A sensitive, helpful guide for understanding, managing and ultimately
healing the devastating pain that accompanies the loss of a dearly
loved animal companion.’
The publicity blurb
which accompanied the book tells me that 63% of all households in the
US own a pet, and that 84% of caretakers consider their pets to be
members of the family. And those experiencing pet loss grief are often
deprived of support.
The book therefore:
- offers guidance and
support to owners preparing for a loss, making end of life plans and
decisions
- presents a new
understanding of grief, specifically pet loss grief
- includes carefully
chosen and sequenced workbook questions to lead owners through grief to
healing
- and provides
support and validation for grieving pet owners.
I read Laurie’s book
and was impressed with the simplistic style of writing; I have read
other books which have, in my humble opinion, been too ‘distant’, too
‘observational’. Laurie’s book is very definitely ‘hand’s on’ and it
does feel as if she is holding you personally by the hand and gently
leading you through this perhaps unchartered course where at times we
are apt to flounder because we don’t know what to do next, who we can
trust to talk to, or how long we’ll feel this wretched.
The book is separated
into two sections: the first: ‘So Easy to Love’ deals with ‘The Magical
Bond’, ‘Embrace the Final Days’ and ‘End of Life Care’ – each section
broken down into one-page-at-a-time-read with a question and answer
section on the opposite page. At the top of each question and answer
page is a space to put that day’s date and the idea is to see how far
you’ve come on your journey of loss over a period of time.
The second section is:
‘So Hard to Lose’ and covers ‘After the Loss’, ‘Is it true?’, ‘No
Regrets’, ‘The Emotional Roller Coaster’, ‘You’re Not Alone’ and ‘A
Bridge to Healing’. Once again each section has a-page-at-a-time-read
with the opposite page having questions and answers to work through.
I found all the
sections quite comforting and Laurie’s style is neither invasive nor
judgemental. As Jim Willis writes on the back cover: ‘The loss of a
beloved pet can be devastating. Laurie speaks from experience and eases
us toward acceptance. This book is a comforting hug between two
covers.’ And I have to agree with Jim: it IS a comforting hug between
two covers.
There is a section
towards the end of the book which charts Laurie’s own personal journey
of grief and how she came to set up the Magic Bullet Fund and help
100’s of dogs and their families through cancer treatment. When someone
writes of personal experience then you can trust their judgement and
know that what they are writing about makes sense.
I know from my own
personal experience of pet loss, grief can takes months to work through
and if you are surrounded by people who don’t understand the depth of
your feelings, it is often hard to work through that grief because you
find yourself NOT crying to save someone else’s feelings rather than
thinking of your own.
Have a copy of
Laurie’s book on your shelf; read it when you don’t need it and then
when you do, you’ll already feel like you have a friend nearby who
really cares about you and what you are now going through.
Published by JanGen
Press, and available through them at: PO BOX 2574, Briarcliff Manor,
New York. 10510 (914) 941-0159
The ISBN number is:
9780975479414
Contact Laurie at: laurie.kaplan@jangenpress.com
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